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This photo shoot was very special to me.  Kelly, the father has stage 3 melanoma.  This is so close to my heart because I lost my dear, sweet sister to Melanoma almost 3 years ago.  People/families going through cancer will forever have my heart.   When I found out that my friend, Yogie's husband had it, my heart just broke for them!!  I was determined to do the only thing I really CAN do in a situation like this.  Meaningful pictures.  I am so, SO blessed to have the ability to do this- I honestly feel nothing but gratitude to the Lord for enabling me to give this gift to some very special people.  

I wanted these pictures to be very REAL.  My instructions were clear: wear what you normally wear, and do what you normally do when you spend time together as a family.  

Of course we knocked out a few posed-on-the-stairs ones, cuz you have to have a few, especially with these awesome stairs that I love so much!  But after that the rule was try to avoid looking at the camera and ignore me.  I sat back ran around with my cameras and reflectors while they honestly enjoyed each others company.  They read scriptures in their beautiful sitting room, Kelly had a tea party with his littlest princess, Sariah, they sat on the couch talking, played a board game, and he even watched some tv with his big princess, Ciara.  It was awesome.  

I have to say, this photo shoot was definitely divinely assisted.  Kelly is so sick all the time.  He rarely gets out of bed lately.  The chemo just knocks him down and keeps him down.  But look at these pictures.  He was feeling well enough to be genuinely enjoying his family!  This was nothing short of miraculous.  And the interesting thing was that right after I finished and was packing up, he got so sick again.  The color drained from his face and his vitality was pretty much gone.  He was a sick man once again.  The difference was night and day. During these pictures, look at him!  He was feeling pretty well for a good 1.5 hours!  God totally gave him that hour and a half.  I was able to photograph the family as they usually are/were before Kelly got sick.  God is so wonderful.  

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Okay, I am giving up on updating the blog with the last 30+ photoshoots I've done since my last blog post. {sigh}.  Maybe someday I will add them, but for now, I'm starting with this week.  Here are some pictures I did of my good friend, Amanda and her cute kids.  Thanks for being a good sport and jumping in a few of these shots Amanda, despite your reserves about not having done your makeup that morning.  You look beautiful and fresh-faced!

There is no greater compliment than repeat clients.  You may remember this family from last fall. I was honored to do one more photoshoot for them before Mike deployed. It was a lot of fun, and I love the location they picked.  I know they are going to miss their dad so much, I know they'll be glad they did these pictures before he left. I wish the Poss family the best of luck in the coming year, and Mike a safe return!

This was truly the most important session I have ever done.  It's hard to find words that would express the weight that this session held for me, and the weight that it lifted off my heart, and hopefully, in tiniest measure, from the hearts of Kjersten and Sean.

I met Kjersten and Sean 2 years ago in Hawaii when I photographed their beautiful 4 month-old baby girl, Brynnley.   She was a dream to photograph.  We put bunny ears on her and set her in an easter basket with a rattan carrot to chew on.  And then a headband with a giant pink rose on it.  The rose was literally half the size of Brynnley's head. Yeah. It was seriously cute.  My daughter, Brooklyn had just turned 6 and had gotten a little pink camera for her birthday.  She was at my side photographing Brynnley with me.  At one point she said "Look at this angle I got!".  And when Brynnley started fussing, and her Mommy rushed in, Brooklyn, still snapping away says "I captured the struggle!". LOL!!

At the time of Brynnley's session I had been doing photography professionally for 2 years, and I had had a LOT of people in and out of my home for photoshoots. Everyone brought with them a different air.  A different spirit.  Some clients were tons of fun and brought energy into my home.  Some were nervous and a bit awkward, and, in turn, made me feel a little uneasy.  Some were polite and professional, some friendly and warm.  But Kjersten and Sean brought something really special into my home.  I remember being so at ease with them, they could have stayed all day.  They were so sweet and polite, but more than that.  They were intensely genuine, and truly kind.  The way they talked to each other and the way they talked to me was... different.  With such... kindness.  They loved their baby girl, and loved each other in such a way that it was obvious they were true Christians.  They glowed.   I remember thinking about them after the shoot was over, and after the pictures were completed and delievered.  They stayed on my mind somehow.  People like that usually do.  They're not easy to forget.

9 months later I saw on facebook that Brynnley was in the ICU.  She had developed diabetes out of the blue and was on life support.  Like thousands of people around the world, I started praying my heart out, and checked Kjersten's facebook posts for updates about every 5 minutes.  Just 3 days later it was determined that there was no brain activity, and Sean and Kjersten had to say goodbye to the littlest love of their life.  

I read that Bynnley died and I lost it.  I called Pete sobbing.  Brooklyn cried with me.  I felt bad about this later but on Kjersten's wall, under all the dozens of beautiful comments about how Brynnley was safe in Jesus's arms, and looking down on her Mom and Dad from the most wonderful Heaven, I posted something like this: "No! No, no, no, NO! This can't happen, she is supposed to get better, she can't have died, OMG NO!" Something to that hysterical effect.

In the months that passed, I worried about Kjersten and Sean in a way I'm not so sure is very sane.  Like ALL the time. Now if Kjersten had been one of my best friends, that would be understandable and perfectly normal.  But to have talked with her face-to-face twice- ever, and then worry about the two of them the way I did and as often as I did... I'm not so sure how sane that was.    

  Just like all their friends and family, I wanted SO BAD to be able to do something or say something that would really help.  Something that would actually make a difference and soothe their grief even in the smallest way.  I saw on facebook that Kjersten's sisters had all worn big pink flower headbands to Brynnley's memorial service.

I took the big pink rose hairbow out of my prop rotation.  No one else could wear that. It was Brynnley's flower.  I wanted to send it to Kjersten but didn't want to bother her for her address, so I put it away on a shelf. But that was just such a small thing.  I wanted to do something that could really help and/or soothe their pain a little.

We had already moved to Kansas at this point, and they were still in Hawaii. So trying to think of something that I could do for them was fultile.  And I wasn't so sure Kjersten even remembered who I was! So I just held on to that flower, and quietly worried and prayed, checking in on her on her and Sean on facebook every now and then, watching for signs that they were eventually going to be okay.  

In February of this year Kjersten gave birth to their second baby girl, Brielle.  As I was snooping through her facebook album I saw that they lived in Kansas. Their family in Kansas with a new baby and me a family and newborn photographer?  God dropped this opportunity right into my lap.  I emailed and suggested, asked, begged to do a photoshoot for them in Brynnley's honor.  I am still so grateful that they said yes.  What a unique opportunity I had to give something truly meaningful.  How cool that all the details fell into place like this.  It was truly a gift from God to bring healing.

The day of the photoshoot was very rainy.  For a photographer doing indoor photos using natural window light, a rainy day is difficult and frustrating.  But for this particular photoshoot, it was a perfect ambience.  The grey sky cast a cool light through the windows of my living room, illuminating the three faces, and leaving the rest of the picture shadowy.  Symbolic for sure.

We were able to incorporate Brynnley's pictures and her Lambie into the shots of Brielle.  It was really special to connect the newest little love of their life with the first forever love of their life.

I lost my big sister to cancer almost exactly 2 years ago.  Right when she died, everyone had her as their profile picture on facebook.  At that painful time I remember seeing all those profile pictures of my sister and realizing that in time those pictures would all too soon start disappearing as people moved on with their lives.  Life would go forward and my sister, it seemed, would be left behind and forgotten.  That realization hurt so much.  And since losing a baby must be infinitely more painful than losing a sister, I imagine that Kjersten and Sean are dealing with that concept at an even deeper level.  Right after their session last month I posted their pictures as my timeline and profile pictures on my facebook photography page.  I can't bring myself to replace them.  I don't want Brynnley to be left behind.  

It was comforting to see Kjersten and Sean after worrying about them for so long. Their hearts are broken of course.  You don't heal from losing your baby in one short year.  But I got to look in their eyes and see for myself that there is hope there.  Eventually they are going to be okay.  And God is carrying them through this unimaginable pain.  He has provided a light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.  And He has blessed them with this new, perfect little baby.

Sweet Kjersten and Sean, thank you again for allowing me to be a small part of this bittersweet, painful, beautiful time in your lives.  I look forward to watching your little family grow, and to seeing precious Brielle bring you constant joy and light.

What a cutie to be the first blog post of my new site.  For Jack's session his Mom humored me and let me photograph him at my new favorite place: Wonderscope of Shawnee!!  The bright colors and patterns were perfect for his adorable outfits.  Good job Mom!!

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